At first I did not know she was crying. Our conversation had turned into to silence and I just sat there staring at the T.V. screen, thinking over what we had discussed. I had assumed she too was doing the same. Then I turned my head and asked, "Are you crying?" I saw her crouched in a fetal-like position, wiping her tears away. Silent tears. Not tears of shame. Just silent tears. After I asked, I proceeded to tell her, "Keep crying." I did not want her to stop, especially after I had unveiled her crying. Plus, my rule is-If you want to cry, cry. Do not suppress it. Do not second guess it. Just let your body do what it wants. Allow yourself to cry. There is nothing worse than holding back your tears. But, what is even worse, is having someone tell you, "Stop crying." It is like death. Who the hell has the right to tell you what you can do or not do? Crying is not a crime, never has been, never will be. Never deny your emotions and need to cry. If you feel like having a good cry, go ahead give it to yourself. It is not an indulgence. It is our right and a necessity to staying sane.
After you have a good cry, there is always a sense of clarity-like a lift has been taken off your chest. I, personally, always feel so much better after crying. This is because I am giving in, to let go of all the confusion and mix of emotions. I am not imply that crying will solve your problems, but it does make you feel a lot better, and it helps to get a hold on whatever situation you are going through. After you cry, you are only left with the problem to deal with, without your initial, ephemeral emotions that were responding to whatever problem you were sad, mad, frustrated, etc. at.
In America, we, Americans, have been led to believe that crying is a sign of weakness. I beg to differ. I think it is beautiful when one is able to cry. It is an expression of our emotions. The reason we, humans, want to cry in difficult situations is because we are experiencing mixed emotions and do not know how to make sense of it. So, out of our sadness, frustration, happiness, etc. we cry, as an outlet for all those emotions to flee.
Anyways, this has become a longer post than I expected. What my main point is-cry if you want to. Do not be scared. It is beautiful. Just make sure to remember, when you cry, you will look like shit. That is just how it is. It is beautiful, but beautiful is a matter of perspective. What may look beautiful to you, may not look beautiful to me.
